Day 58 end of week 2 on CAD

Wow. I've had a rough few days. I lost an avg. of 2 lbs. the first week and felt GREAT!! My 2nd week started out good and ended on a horrid note of carb addiction return.  Why? Because I let my hormonal body taste what I thought it needed, when really it was not what I needed at all. And once the taste came, the demons came back with ALL THEIR FRIENDS and I invited them in and gave them a place to hang out for awhile. Disgusting, isn't it?? I did not gain weight, but I did not lose, and more importantly, my lifestyle was not pleasing.

UGH. I hate the feeling after an addiction is fed. I have heart burn. I puke up in my mouth at night. My stomach is bloated. I am sleepier than normal. I am grumpier. My chest feels heavy. My throat feels full. I hate everything about it. I know my insulin is not being absorbed properly. I know the dangers. I've read it over and over and heard it straight from the Doctor's mouth. But when I am craving the foods that harm me, I seem to not care.

That's not really the truth. I do care. I care so much that I even have cried while the very danger passes my lips and goes down my throat.

One problem I have had this week is the grocery money was very tight, and I did not buy all the fresh veggies that I had the first week. BIG difference in how I ate. It was much better when I filled up with salad first off,and then enjoyed my protein. Mike got paid for an extra job and tomorrow, I head to the produce section!

Lord, you've shown me there is nothing good in eating foods that harm me. Nothing. Tomorrow is a new day and because of you, I can leave this day for what it is, and look forward to the new day of good things.